Goals, Rewards, and a changing life.

Good morning everyone!

Well someone asked me for a new post the other day.  She insisted on a new post and said this was her holding me accountable.  Thanks Kim, I needed the kick in the booty to write.

As an update to my last posting, it appears that the last two weeks, especially the week I was so upset about actually have been good weeks in the way of weight loss.  The one week I was so upset about I ended up loosing a grand total of 3 pounds.  I was so scared stepping on the scale that morning.  Once I realized that I had lost weight and as much as I did I was so happy I might have cried for a few minutes there.  I felt like I had climbed a mountain that day.  I know three pounds in a week isn't much to some but for me it was huge.
I have a weigh in my my wonderful trainer, Emily, every Tuesday.  I dread and look forward to that day all the time.  Tuesday of this week I stepped on the scale to realize I had lost two more pounds.  That makes five pounds in two weeks.  I keep wondering if I keep that average, how long it would actually take to get to my goal.  I am too scared to actually do the math, so someone do it for me.

All of this actually leads to the point of this blog.  Everyone keeps asking me what my goals are and at first the goals were real simple; 1. get to high school weight, 2. get off of medications, and 3. get healthy.  I have realized I am going to need a few more goals then this and with these goals I need some rewards.  I have been pondering and agonizing over these so called goals and rewards for the last two weeks.  Some of my goals are private.  I know I have put a lot of personal information out here with this but there is just some things that are TMI.  So just know that there are some goals you will never really know about.

My husband, Jeremy, has been a big support so far through this.  He is eating the new meals and recipes without complaints and he is helping with the shopping when I am worried the urges are going to overcome me.  He is also learning right along with me what places are bad to eat at and what foods are okay.  When I was preparing to go to the gym Monday night he asked how much weight I thought I had lost and what was my goal for the week.  I don't really have a weekly weight goal per say.  From week to week all I worry about is not falling off the donut wagon (I had no clue how much I liked donuts), not busting my weight watcher points, making it to the gym or working out five days a week, and loosing weight.  I don't really care how much weight I lose each week just as long as the numbers go down or stay the same.  If I made a weekly weight goal I would end up quiting.  I am a perfectionist and a little bit competitive with myself, so if I set a weekly goal and wasn't able to make it each week I would get depressed and give up.  Besides I figure as long as I am not busting my weight watcher points then the scale isn't going to go up.  So far I have kept my weekly goals except for making it to the gym five days a week.  I am making it there at least three days with Emily, but the other two days can be problematic sometimes due to life getting in the way.  So to fix that excuse I got a couple of  workout videos that I can do from home.

I have realized that since this is such a long term project I need to set some short term goals and long term goals and rewards.  So here is what I have come up with so far, this is just a hodgepodge of things, wishes, and desires that have crossed my mind in the last couple of weeks.

1. Get out of plus size clothes
2. Be able to get my engagement ring back on my finger
3. Participate in a marathon
4. Hike a nature trail 
5. Bike a nature trail
6. Shop at the Limited and be able to wear the beautiful clothes there. (I think that is the name of the store over by Dillard's)
7. Wear shorts
8. Lay on the beach in a swim suit without being self conscious
9. Go on a cruise (my fear of wearing a swim suit in public is what is stopping this for me)
10. Loose 100 pounds before attending my 20 year class reunion next year.
11. Run a mile
12. Play on an adult volleyball or softball team
13. Live a more active life with my husband and son
14. Throw away all plus size clothes and buy a new wardrobe

My first goal was to make it to 40 years old and weight within 15 pounds of 150.  I have learned that with these goals I need a reward system.  Now that was harder then coming up with goals.  Every reward I came up with at first involving indulging in some food I haven't been allowing myself to enjoy.  Well that sure doesn't work in the end.  For my ultimate goal, if I make to 40 with the weight I wanted then I want a HUGE birthday party.  I want every friend and family member there.  I am not going to dread and cry over turning 40, it is going to be the best birthday ever.  And I am not planning my own birthday party, I need some friends to step it up.  This party is going to be big, I even want my out-of-state friends to find a way to be there.  And if Jeremy and I leave on a second honeymoon the next day, then it would be even better.

Until this morning I still had no small rewards for the small steps.  But while riding the exercise bike at the gym this morning I was reading a People magazine that was spotlighting normal people like me who had lost significant weight amounts on their own.  It was about how they did it and what motivated them to do it.  One of the ladies in the magazine mentioned that every time she lost a total of ten pounds she would reward herself with something small, such as a pedicure or massage.  There was my light bulb.  This weekend, Jeremy and I, (though he doesn't know it yet) are going to create a ten pound jar.  In this jar we are going to fill it up with slips of paper that contain small and large rewards.  A pedicure and manicure, a professional massage, a weekend trip, a new item of clothing, and etc...Then each time I loose a total of ten pounds I get to draw a reward from the jar.  This weekend Jeremy and I will brainstorm for items to go into the jar.  If you have some suggestions then please send them our way.  (Besides it would be nice to see some comments.)

One other thing that crossed my mind with the whole goal and reward idea was what happens when I turn 40 and I have reached my goal.  What then?  I need a way to ensure that I keep the weight off, so when I turn 41 (a year after my goal date) if the weight is still off then I want to get a tummy tuck.  I will probably need one.  So I guess the Jabba jar will be my ten pound jar and the extremely awesome Princess Leia jar will be my tummy tuck jar.  So maybe with every ten pounds lost I should put ten dollars in the jar?  Will have to think about that one some more.

To all my fellow supporters and accountants, thank you!